Long ago in Benares, Devadatta reigned over a tribe of monkeys that resided in the Himalayas. The power hungry tyrant feared that one day his sons would try to obtain his role, and thus would murder them in their sleep the night of their seventh birthday.
Knowing this, Bodhisatta was taken far into the jungle by his mother two days prior to the boys seventh birthday. Angry that the two had fled, Devadatta sent out multiple search teams to find and dispose of them. However, for ten years they had been unsuccessful. In this time, Bodhisatta was taught all about the lotus flower, and the special properties that it could have when treated right.
One day, Bodhisatta heard multiple men shouting, "Hey, I think I found a campsite over here!"
Quick to his feet, Bodhisatta told his mother to hid as he ground up a mixture of lotuses and ingredients into a powder. While moving swiftly and silently, he jumped from branch to branch until he was above the search party. He had sprinkled the powder over the group and watched as they all had fallen into a deep slumber, one that could only be woken up by a special concoction of Bodhisatta's.
Before night had fallen, Bodhisatta had disposed of all the monkeys that were apart of the search party, all but one.
When the sole monkey, scared of what was to come, he was met with a pair of sharp menacing eyes.
Bodhisatta simply said, "Take me to my father."
When morning came, Bodhisatta told his mother that she should remain hidden until he comes to get her. Afterwards, he gathered all of the lotus flowers and ingredients needed in order for him to follow through with his plan.
By the time that Bodhisatta and the other monkey made it back to the location of Devadatta and his tribe, night had already crept up. After removing his traveling parter, Bodhisatta found his way into his beloved father's room and sprinkled a powder on him to make him fall into a deep slumber.
When Devadatta awoke, he was outside tied to a post for all of his tribe to see. Bodhisatta declared, "Here stands your leader, who was weak and had been outsmarted by his own blood."
Bodhisatta continued saying, "I have hidden in the shadows for too long, but not anymore. I shall reign over this tribe and vanquish all of his tyranny." With that, the tribe cheered and applauded Bodhisatta and his claims.
To seal his fate as the new leader of the tribe, Bodhisatta pulled out a pouch that contained an ominous black powder which he then mixed with some water, and forced Devadatta to drink the deathly mixture.
Once the act was completed, the tribe cheered and thanked Bodhisatta for ending their suffering and had decided to elect him as their new leader.
Author's Note
When i was creating my story, I had decided to keep the characters and general plot for the story the same. I knew that I had wanted Bodhisatta to somehow take over as the new kind of the tribe. Instead of him being superior to his father by his strength, I wanted him to be smarter than the father. In addition, I wanted the lotus flower to contain much more power and importance within the story. So that is why I had decided that Bodhisatta collected lotus flowers because he could make various concoctions with them.
Bibliography
"The Monkey Who Gathered Lotuses" by Robert Chalmers. Source.
Knowing this, Bodhisatta was taken far into the jungle by his mother two days prior to the boys seventh birthday. Angry that the two had fled, Devadatta sent out multiple search teams to find and dispose of them. However, for ten years they had been unsuccessful. In this time, Bodhisatta was taught all about the lotus flower, and the special properties that it could have when treated right.
One day, Bodhisatta heard multiple men shouting, "Hey, I think I found a campsite over here!"
Quick to his feet, Bodhisatta told his mother to hid as he ground up a mixture of lotuses and ingredients into a powder. While moving swiftly and silently, he jumped from branch to branch until he was above the search party. He had sprinkled the powder over the group and watched as they all had fallen into a deep slumber, one that could only be woken up by a special concoction of Bodhisatta's.
Before night had fallen, Bodhisatta had disposed of all the monkeys that were apart of the search party, all but one.
When the sole monkey, scared of what was to come, he was met with a pair of sharp menacing eyes.
Bodhisatta simply said, "Take me to my father."
When morning came, Bodhisatta told his mother that she should remain hidden until he comes to get her. Afterwards, he gathered all of the lotus flowers and ingredients needed in order for him to follow through with his plan.
By the time that Bodhisatta and the other monkey made it back to the location of Devadatta and his tribe, night had already crept up. After removing his traveling parter, Bodhisatta found his way into his beloved father's room and sprinkled a powder on him to make him fall into a deep slumber.
When Devadatta awoke, he was outside tied to a post for all of his tribe to see. Bodhisatta declared, "Here stands your leader, who was weak and had been outsmarted by his own blood."
Bodhisatta continued saying, "I have hidden in the shadows for too long, but not anymore. I shall reign over this tribe and vanquish all of his tyranny." With that, the tribe cheered and applauded Bodhisatta and his claims.
To seal his fate as the new leader of the tribe, Bodhisatta pulled out a pouch that contained an ominous black powder which he then mixed with some water, and forced Devadatta to drink the deathly mixture.
Once the act was completed, the tribe cheered and thanked Bodhisatta for ending their suffering and had decided to elect him as their new leader.
Author's Note
When i was creating my story, I had decided to keep the characters and general plot for the story the same. I knew that I had wanted Bodhisatta to somehow take over as the new kind of the tribe. Instead of him being superior to his father by his strength, I wanted him to be smarter than the father. In addition, I wanted the lotus flower to contain much more power and importance within the story. So that is why I had decided that Bodhisatta collected lotus flowers because he could make various concoctions with them.
Bibliography
"The Monkey Who Gathered Lotuses" by Robert Chalmers. Source.
Lotus Flower
Source: Pixabay
This is an interesting take on the Lotus story. It's very good. Though it could be improved by a little bit of character development. There is a concept in writing, "Show not tell". The idea is that concepts we are shown are more powerful than concepts we are just told. For example, you simply state that the king is a power-hungry tyrant. I think it would be a lot more effective if you showed some of the bad things he did. Perhaps he burns anyone who speaks out against him at the stake in the public square. Something like that makes us hate him a lot more, so we are happier when he is finally vanquished in the end.
ReplyDeleteWhat caught my attention was the word lotus in your title. It is one of my favorite flower so I was compelled to read your story. I enjoyed your adaptation of the story. I like the take on mental strength over brute strength as the point of your story. I wonder in the line "Bodhisatta told his mother to hid as" did you mean hide? I just wanted to point out a very minor typo. I think it is unclear that Bodhisatta was the son of Devadatta. His introduction was unclear. You did state at the end that Bodhisatta was the son but I think it would be helpful to say that in the beginning for clarification. I also wonder what happened to Bodhisatta mother. I think a conclusion on her storyline would also bring the story full circle. Overall, I think you did a wonderful rendition of the story. I enjoyed it.
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